A Woman Worth Loving Page 10

  She chuckled at his queasy expression. “No need to look so pained. I was thinking linguine in store-bought marinara. We can skip the asparagus altogether if you’d like. Give me about an hour?”

  He seemed about to refuse, but then he nodded. “I’ll bring the wine.”

  “More salad?”

  Audra held out the bowl of organic mixed greens she’d picked up earlier that day at the Trillium Market. The place was twice the size it had been back when Dane had bagged groceries there as a teenager, but some things hadn’t changed. Old Mrs. Webster still ran one of the checkout lanes and insisted on counting back a customer’s change right down to the last penny. And she was still the gatekeeper to polite island society. Thus, Audra felt she had truly been welcomed back into the fold when the older woman had encouraged her to join the Island Women’s Club.

  Audra still heard whispers now and then when she walked through town, but there seemed to be fewer of them. And, gradually, more genuine greetings.

  “No more for me. Thanks.” Seth pushed back in his chair and took a sip of his wine.

  “Can you believe Memorial Day weekend is coming up? The island will be thick with tourists after that,” Audra said. “Do you…do you know when you’ll be leaving?”

  “Not for a while. It’s beautiful here. I find myself wanting to know what it will be like in the summer.”

  “Autumn’s still my favorite time of year,” she confided. “You haven’t seen anything till you’ve seen the maples on Trillium suit up in their fall finery.”

  “Sounds breathtaking.” His gaze dipped to her lush bottom lip. “Maybe I’ll have to stick around.”

  “I’d like that,” she whispered.

  And because the idea appealed to him, too, he decided to change the subject. “I haven’t seen much of you this week. Well, except in the mornings.”

  “I know. I’ve been very busy.”

  He waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t. Instead, she stood and carried her dirty dishes over to the sink. He did so as well. She was up to something and his journalist’s instincts told him it was something big.

  “I enjoyed dinner,” he said.

  Seth was close enough that he could smell her perfume, that scent that had haunted him ever since he’d saved her life. She was still wearing shirts and scarves that camouflaged the bruising on her neck, but every now and then he could catch a glimpse of it. The marks had faded considerably, but they were still there, marring her skin and reminding Seth of the fateful ways in which their lives had intersected not once, but twice.

  “You’re welcome. Consider it a payback for the chicken you made me our first night in the cottages.”

  “Does that mean you think we’re even?” he murmured, stepping closer.

  “Even? Oh, no.” She moistened her lips. “Not by a long shot.”

  His smile came slowly, a cat toying with a mouse. “Who’s ahead?”

  She reached into a white pastry box on the cupboard and pulled out a cannoli. “I am. I figure this will keep you securely in my debt.”

  “Dessert?”

  She raised an eyebrow and made a scoffing sound that would have done a French chef proud.

  “Cherry pie is dessert, my friend. Done right—and there’s an Italian restaurant over on the mainland that knows how to do it right—a cannoli is several hundred calories worth of sin squeezed into a tube of flaky pastry topped off with powdered sugar and chopped nuts.”

  To punctuate her point she licked a small amount of creamy filling out of the end of the tube, taking some lucky bits of almond along with it. It took Seth a moment to realize that the groan he heard had vibrated from the back of his throat. Talk about sin, he thought, and felt as tempted as he imagined Adam had when Eve had held out the apple.

  And as damned, because he couldn’t muster up the will to resist either.

  “I’ll be the judge.”

  She held out the cannoli, but Seth didn’t reach for it. Instead, he leaned down and took a bite. He devoured it slowly, one mouthful at a time, until the only thing left was a smudge of filling on one of her fingertips, which he had the audacity to lick off before closing his mouth over her finger and sucking gently.

  Audra’s eyes widened at the contact, and where a moment ago she had been the temptress, now she seemed almost uncertain of how to proceed. He wasn’t sure what made him act so boldly, but he didn’t want to stop. Who she was, what she had done, no longer mattered as much as the urgent need to hold her, to possess her.

  Seth’s kiss was as sweet and rich tasting as the dessert he’d just eaten from her hand, and Audra reveled in it. She wound her arms around his neck and drew him closer. Everything shifted then, the tone and tempo of the encounter ratcheting up like the soaring notes of a symphony.

  He broke off the kiss to lift her onto the countertop, and Seth stood between her thighs, his breathing as labored as her own.

  “I want you.” He sounded oddly angry.

  She didn’t have time to question him, though, because he’d begun kissing her again as he worked his fingers beneath the tight weave of her sweater and searched for the clasp of her bra in the middle of her back.

  “It’s in the front,” she murmured against his lips.

  The words “stop” and “hurry” warred in her head, but it was the latter that came out when Seth brought his hands around to do the honors.

  She had just tugged the tails of his shirt from the waistband of his jeans when a knock sounded at the front door. Dane and Ali entered the cottage without waiting for Audra to call for them to come in. There was no mistaking the erotic scene the siblings had interrupted, despite the fact that Audra had hopped down from the countertop and turned away to refasten her bra, and Seth now stood an arm’s length away, the ends of his shirt thankfully hiding any more incriminating evidence.

  “We’re a little early,” Dane said, even as Ali’s expression twisted in apparent disgust.

  “Oh, she’s changed all right,” Ali sneered. “She’s still trying to get into the pants of every man within a five-mile radius.”

  “Ali!” Dane said sharply, but there were questions and maybe a little disappointment in the gaze he divided between Audra and the other flushed occupant of the kitchen.

  “If you want to insult me, go ahead,” Audra said, notching up her chin. “But you owe Seth an apology.”

  Ali glared at her, but then she nodded her head tersely. “You’re right.” Turning to Seth, she said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know you very well, but I guess I thought you had higher standards than this.”

  “That’s not exactly an apology,” Audra said.

  “Best I can do at the moment,” Ali replied tightly. “I can’t believe I let Dane talk me into working with you.”

  Seth cleared his throat and broke the taut silence. “I’ll just be going. Thank you for dinner, Audra.”

  He grabbed his jacket off the arm of the sofa as he passed it, trying not to squirm under the cool stare Dane was giving him. What had he been thinking, kissing Audra like that? Who knew how far things might have progressed if her family hadn’t barged in?

  He wanted to be thankful for the interruption that had rocked him back to his senses, but his body and mind seemed to have trouble agreeing on the matter.

  “See you in the morning for our walk?” Audra called.

  Tell her no.

  Tell her who you really are.

  Tell her to go to hell.

  She smiled, her expression just this side of uncertain, as if she were privy to the battling nature of his thoughts. He didn’t trust himself to speak and so he gave a jerky nod and then hurried out the door with Ali’s bitter words echoing in his head.

  CHAPTER NINE

  IT WAS still dark outside when Audra woke the following morning. She stayed in bed fantasizing about a cigarette and rehashing the argument she’d had with her twin once Seth had left the evening before.

  Ali had gone on about Audra’s behavior, commenting again tha
t she didn’t think their plans for the resort would work if Audra played a central role in them. Of course, Audra’s use of the word “ingrate” probably hadn’t helped matters, but she’d been so stung by her sister’s words and by the fact that every effort she had made to apologize for, or even discuss the past, had been rejected.

  “She wants to be our partner today, but what about next week? You’re too unpredictable. Too unprincipled,” Ali had said. Then she had turned on Dane. “And you! You’ve always been so damned blind to her failings.”

  “She’s our sister.”

  “She’s your sister. I’m not sure I want anything to do with her. I’m not sure I want anything to do with the resort if it means having to work with her.”

  And with those parting words, Ali had stormed out. Dane had gone after her, playing the peacemaker once again. How many times had he been cast in that role over the years? In addition to pacifier, though, he remained a big brother.

  Before leaving, he’d asked, “So, what’s going on between you and Seth Ridley?”

  Audra had fiddled with the bottom edge of her lightweight sweater, remembering only too well how Seth’s hands had stroked the skin beneath it. Under her brother’s scrutiny, however, it was her face that had heated.

  “I’m not sure, exactly.”

  “Aud, do us all a favor and please take a good look before leaping this time.”

  She could accept Ali’s criticism. Indeed, she had expected it. But the subtle reprimand in Dane’s voice left her feeling raw.

  “I thought you liked Seth.”

  “I like him fine from what I know of him. I guess that’s the point. You just met him—what?—a few weeks ago. I’m just saying use your head this time.”

  “He’s so different from any of the other men I’ve known,” she’d murmured, not even realizing she’d spoken the words aloud until Dane smiled.

  Her brother had reached out to give the ends of her hair an affectionate yank. “I know, kiddo. He does seem remarkably normal, thank God. And he appears to have been born in the same decade as you.”

  “But?”

  “What do you really know about him except that he’s passing through? He’s not an islander, Aud. He’s not even a Michigander. He’s on vacation.”

  “At a crossroads,” she’d murmured, recalling Seth’s words that first morning on the beach.

  “And so are we. We’re in the process of buying Saybrook’s. Once it’s ours we’ll have some back-breaking work to do restoring it. You told me you were home for good.”

  “I am. I’m not going anywhere, Dane. I can promise you that.”

  He had nodded. “I just don’t want to see you make another mistake. Things are so shaky with Ali as it is. We need her on board to make our plans for the resort work.”

  “She’ll come around. She wants to own Saybrook’s even more than we do,” Audra had objected.

  “I’m not saying she doesn’t. But she’s just stiff-necked enough to sacrifice her dreams so she doesn’t have to sacrifice her pride, especially since she doesn’t trust you right now. She doesn’t believe you’ve changed. If you go and take off with a guy again—”

  “I didn’t leave Trillium with Luke Banning ten years ago. I accepted a ride to the ferry and that was the end of it,” she had interjected firmly.

  “God, I know that. I never thought differently, even though you might have mentioned that to Ali at the time. She was sick with hurt afterward.”

  And Dane, of course, would have been there to help their sister pick up the pieces.

  Audra had closed her eyes and asked in bewilderment, “Why don’t you hate me, too? I’ve given you so many reasons to over the years.”

  “Because I’ve always known you have a good heart, even if you don’t always use your head.”

  “Do you think whatever this is with Seth is another example of my poor judgment?”

  “Not necessarily. Timing is off a bit, though,” Dane had replied.

  “I feel some kind of connection with him. It’s hard to explain. It’s like I’ve known him much longer than a matter of weeks.”

  Dane had shaken his head and laughed outright. “You’re not going to start spouting off about love at first sight and junk like that, are you?”

  “Why? Don’t you believe in it?”

  “Nah. It’s just a bunch of romantic nonsense. Relationships take time and effort. And honesty,” Dane had stressed. “Does he know who you are? Who you really are, Audra Conlan Howard Stover Winfield?”

  She had sighed heavily at her brother’s use of her many names. “No.”

  “Then I suggest you tell him before things progress any further.”

  Her brother was right, of course, but first things first. She needed to speak to Ali.

  After showering and dressing, Audra left a note on Seth’s door and drove to the resort. She found her sister sitting behind a meticulously ordered desk in her office, looking as spit-polished as usual in her no-nonsense clothes, but there were shadows under her eyes and a groove of tension burrowed between her dark brows. Was Audra the cause of some of that tension?

  Putting aside the sympathy she felt, Audra said, “I want to talk to you.”

  Ali barely spared her a glance. “Make an appointment.”

  “No. Right now.” Audra closed the door firmly behind her before her sister could tell her to leave. She pulled a chair over to the door and sat on it, blocking the exit. “Every time I try to bring up the past and apologize, you shut me up. Well, you’re going to listen to what I have to say this time.”

  “I have a meeting with the staff in fifteen minutes,” Ali replied, her tone as crisp as the starched blouse she wore. “I don’t have time to chat.”

  “This is not a chat. I’m not here to discuss the weather, damn it. Cancel the meeting.”

  “You’ve got a hell of a lot of nerve coming in here and ordering me around,” Ali huffed, rising from her chair and rounding the desk. She jabbed a finger in the direction of the door. “Get out!”

  Audra rose to her feet as well.

  “No. I’ve got nerve because I’m you’re sister. And I am your sister, no matter how much you dislike me right now,” she said, still smarting from Ali’s disavowal of their kinship the night before.

  When Ali opened her mouth to speak again, Audra sliced her hand through the air to cut her off.

  “No. Let me get this out.” She took a deep breath, knowing she was facing the toughest audience of her life, but she didn’t plan to act. She just planned to be honest and say what had been in her heart all these many years.

  “I hurt you, Ali, and I’m sorry for that. More sorry than you’ll ever know. But you have to believe me that nothing went on between me and Luke, either before I left Trillium or afterward. In fact, we didn’t really leave together. He just gave me a ride to the ferry. That was it, I swear. We parted ways in Petoskey and I’ve only heard from him a couple of times since then.”

  “That’s a couple of times more than I’ve heard from him,” she replied tightly.

  “I’m so sorry, Ali.” And despite Audra’s determination not to cry, her eyes filled and her voice broke when she added, “I’m sorry that I let you think what you did. It was a nasty thing to do and I’ve hated myself for it ever since. I hope you can forgive me. I’m begging you to, right now. I love you.”

  Ali glanced away, but her chin quivered. And when her gaze connected with Audra’s again, her eyes were moist as well.

  “I always knew in my heart there was nothing going on between you and Luke,” she conceded on a watery sigh. “God, I wanted to die when he left me, but do you know what hurt worse?”

  “Thinking that I’d gone with him?”

  “No, you idiot.” She shook her head in frustration. “You still don’t get it. You left me, too, Audra. You walked away from me at the same time he did. I needed my sister and you weren’t here. You called from California and the only one you talked to was Dane.”

  “I didn
’t figure you’d want to talk to me.”

  “Well, I didn’t after that. I felt like you’d written me out of your life and so I returned the favor.”

  “It wasn’t like that. I just had to get away. Everybody here wanted me to be just like you. No offense, but I’m not you and I never will be. I couldn’t stay and keep disappointing everyone. And I wanted to be an actress.”

  “But you’re back on Trillium now. What’s changed?” Ali asked.

  Audra, at last, had an answer for both of them.

  “Me. I’ve changed. I know who I am and I know what I’m not. For instance, I know that I’m not a good enough actress to have a real career doing it. When I left here, I thought I was following a dream. Since coming back, I realize that in a lot of ways I was trying to run away from something I couldn’t quite face.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Audra shook her head. “I don’t want to go into it now. It was something that happened to me a long time ago. But I’m not using it as an excuse any longer. I guess you could say I’ve made peace with my past.”

  She walked to the window and glanced out at the scenery, only vaguely aware of the postcard-perfect picture the view made.

  “I’ve done some really stupid things and made some really poor choices over the years. Anybody standing in the line at the grocery store glancing over the tabloid headlines knows that. I have to live with those choices now. I can deal with the fact that a lot of people who don’t even know me think I deserve to rot in hell, but if you do…” She drew a shuttering breath, turned back to face Ali and forced herself to finish. “If you do, well, then surviving being nearly strangled to death won’t have been worth it.”

  Ali’s expression softened and she reached for Audra’s hand.

  “I wanted to fly out to California with Dane when we heard the news, but I’ve been up to my eyebrows in trouble at the resort since being named manager. And, besides, I wasn’t sure what I would say. We’ve always struck sparks off one another even under the best circumstances.”

  “You wanted to come?” Now Audra cried in earnest.